Saturday, December 11, 2010

Yes, I Watched The High School Cross Country National Championships . . .

Online. Because I am a dork. Anyway . . .

On runners' thoughts early in the race: "You start thinking--'where do I wanna be right now? What do I wanna do?'" Pretty heady stuff for 17-year-olds, but shouldn't they be paying more attention to the national championship they're currently participating in than to trying to answer life's big questions?

On the girls' field: "These are 40 of the finest young ladies in the country." And they run pretty well too, don't they?

On the boys' field: "These guys, they're ready for a big dog fight out there." And to think, even cross country runners are emulating Michael Vick these days--the shame!

On the leaders of the boys' race as they head downhill: "Verzbicas and Zeinasellassie are mano y mano as they go down." Apparently our announcer moonlights as a synopsis writer for Spanish language underage Euro-African fetish porn DVD covers. Or maybe he's moonlighting as our announcer, and that's actually his day job--the way long tail economics works, you can make a killing doing just about anything these days.

On Verzbicas, as he approaches the finish line with a large lead: "If he can get to the finish line on his two feet he's gonna have a great day here." If he gets to the finish line on someone else's two feet, though, well, we've got the plot for the next season of Dexter.

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