Guys I Am Going To Start Doing Different Things On This Blog.

I Am.

"He [John Calipari, Kentucky Wildcats Men's Basketball Head Coach] Is Always Coaching, Even During Timeouts."

...

.

"Westbrook Has One Speed, And That Is 100%."

I'm just so tired of all these academics trying to make me learn the metric system.

I Know It's Just A Song, But Do You Think It's Possible To Build A City On Rock And Roll?

Oh there'll be some sort of Super Bowl post tomorrow, probably. Probably. It's really just me now, riding this sinking ship to the fucking bottom. We're hanging out, right? Eli's got some new arts & crafts project which will no doubt do for his internet career what Diabetes has done for Wilford Brimley (and whatever, My Fellow Americans had its moments). Anyways that's how funny I think you are, Eli. Writing credit for Last Call with Carson Daly funny. But this is an exciting time for MarionBarberIs nonetheless! Like: we got our first "finisher + porn" visitor. So there's that. That, indeed.

"...Blew Devils." [cc]

"Duke is good at demoralizing you, then causing forced errors."

".... No question, these boys will definitely demoralize you."

Lay Some Treats On Us

Am I going to live blog the NFC Championship game tomorrow? AAhhyumm thinkin' about it.

"Boy, These Patriots Sure Are Uptight."

Best sports commentary of all time? Best sports commentary of all time.

"As A Coach, Though, You'd Rather Have The Actual Victory Than The Moral Victory."

Coaches are dicks.

Fill In The Blank Stare

Fun new blog gaaaaaaaame!

Scene:

An LB hits a TE during regulation play, both are 1. active roster players who are 2. listed active during 3. active, REAL-TIME play.

Quote (Hammond, Mayock):

"Looked to me like that was a legal hit, happened before they blew the whistle."

"Well if it had been the quarterback it wouldn't've been legal"

Factually accurate but logically beyond useless, even misleading! TO WIT:

"Looked to me like that was a legal hit, happened before they blew the whistle."

"Well if it had been [former National Football League head coach Wade Phillips] it wouldn't've been legal."

"Looked to me like that was a legal hit, happened before they blew the whistle."

"Well if it had been [Mary Todd Lincoln] it wouldn't've been legal."

"Looked to me like that was a legal hit, happened before they blew the whistle."

"Well if it had been [Lassie] it wouldn't've been legal."

The churro vendor? DUMBLEDORE? Half the distance to the goal, canary party central. Reasonable! But QB protection in the league makes any sort of player comparison (aside from kicker, fine you people) kind of an apples to sacks of lunchmeat situation. I guess you could use both during regulation? Whatever, fuck you