"Frees and threes; charity tosses and triples"

(Duke's fav.or.ite thiiiings, according to Rogers and Hammerstein up there.)

OR:

Shuts and ups; stop its and immediatelys.

“I can tell you one thing: This ballclub, most of the hitters, we know a lot about the strike zone”

Like it's eye color (blue), age (31), favorite hobbies (backpacking, organic gardening, stand-up paddleboarding), zodiac sign (Libra), and pet peeves (people who put their feet on the table, don't have any respect for women, and chase bad pitches).

"Two Of The Hottest Teams In The Country Here Today"

You know what's coming:

"Speed Causes A Lot Of Problems"

In baseball, and also in life (yours, mine, and Andre Agassi's).

"These Duke Women, Their Strength Is Turning You Over And Scoring On You The Other Way"

Is it just me, or do unintentional lesbian/women's basketball jokes never get old? (Note: I'm pretty sure it's not just me.)

"Edwards Takes Keselowski From The Rear"

Methinks, Mr. SportsCenter anchor, that NASCAR-driver Carl Edwards, with his well-documented anger management issues, might not take to kindly to you implying he stuck his, umm, driveshaft (?) into Keselewski's, umm, back fender (?).

But imagine how Keselowski feels--Polish and a catcher? Ouch.